Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
