I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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