Your dad touched me again.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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