umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
