she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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