Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
