i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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