you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
