Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
