I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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