the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
