Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
