pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
