I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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