Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
