I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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