I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
