butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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