I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
