ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
