ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
