That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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