Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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