and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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