I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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