ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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