Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
