Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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