Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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