After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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