I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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