p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
