my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
