bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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