K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm passing your future prison.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
