Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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