We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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