the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
