Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
