$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
