he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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