3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Someone signed my nipple.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
