As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
