So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
