I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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