Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
