I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my sisters under your porch take her home
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
