he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
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