we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
