hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
