the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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