omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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